Nobody Likes You When You're Dead
by NekoFoxYokai
Summary: ADOPTED. When Hidan and Kakuzu go to the Temple Of Fire in search of jinchuuriki, they find an unexpected surprise. A murder-out-of-boredom vampire who has an animalistic craving for Hidan's blood! But what if it's not just his blood she wants?
1. Oubliette Draculina

**Neko: Revising! Revising! Revising! WOOH! :D**

**Fox: ugh… I don't wanna do this….**

**Neko: stop complaining! You made up the idea in the first place!**

**Fox: Hey! I only suggested someone should make this story since there aren't a lot of long Hidan fanfics! Most of them are one-shots with Kakuzu!**

**Neko: true, I personally think Kakuzu wears a mask cuz he's ugly :/**

**Fox: (hits Neko on the head) **_**Are you crazy?! **_**You want the Kakuzu fangirls after our hides?!**

**Neko: (rubs the potato-size lump on her head) He has **_**fangirls?!**_

**Fox: (sighs) Every Akatsuki member has **_**at least one**_** fangirl… even Konan has fangirls… and fanboys…**

**Neko: I find it hard to believe that **_**Kakuzu **_**has fangirls…**

**Fox: why? Evil badasses are awesome**

**Neko: cuz he's a f-ing money-grubber! Plus he's really ugly underneath that mask! Guess why he wears it!**

**Fox: Kakashi wears a mask… **

**Neko: that's cuz he's cool**

**Fox: your logic makes no sense**

**Neko: thanx**

**Fox: that wasn't a compliment…**

**Neko: oh**

* * *

**Disclaimer : We don't own Naruto yet.**

* * *

**Nobody Likes You When You're Dead**

_Chapter 1:_

_Oubliette Draculina_

A woman lay on her bed, motionless, staring up at the ceiling of her prison. Her pale skin and glowing red eyes shone through this almost ink-like darkness that surrounded her. If it weren't for the life in her eyes, he motionless, non-breathing body would have been mistaken for a corpse. In a way, she was a corpse, no longer really alive, but she wasn't dead yet. She was an undead, a vampire. She'd died her human death centuries ago, and the long years had become dull. She didn't hide her tracks when she killed and fed of the living, hoping for something exciting to happen. That didn't really do anything, because the idiotic humans couldn't figure out what had killed all those people. Loss of blood from an unexplainable jutsu was their excuse. Why did they think everything was because of a jutsu nowadays? She didn't even have chakra! Corpses can't create the spirit energy to put together with physical energy to make chakra. That was the reason for vampire's unimaginable strength and speed, when they die their spirit energy converts to physical energy so they can contain their other dark gifts. This dull and grey existence hadn't been what she'd imagined when she became immortal. She'd seen her loved ones die and fade away while she stayed the same age she'd always been.

Her boredom led to large massacres of villages even when she didn't need to feed, hoping that she'd at least get captured for some type of entertainment. Her wish came true when she'd finally gotten around to the Fire Country. She was killing off the humans from a tiny village, watching them as they fled from her. Their horrified screams, panic, bloodshed, pain, destruction, the tears… none touched her stone heart. When she'd first started her escapades she thought the first to go after would be her own kind, but there weren't many that would travel overseas to come to these lands since there was a high chance of being found out on a ship. Those few that did were usually looking for a peaceful life, yet they didn't meddle with her. So it came to a great surprise, when human monks had gone up against her. They were the monks from the Hi No Tera otherwise known as the Temple of Fire. Their head monk, Chiriku as she learned later on, had lead them. He was one of the Twelve Shinobi Guardsmen she figured because of the Fire Country Insignia was tied around his waist. She didn't feel like fighting since she was doing all of this just to get captured and see what happened. So now here she was, Daciana, bloodthirsty vampire, over a millennia years old and looking at her twenties, in an oubliette underneath the Hi No Tera in the Fire Country, where her only meals were disgusting wild rabbits. If she had any breathe in her lungs she would have sighed. This place wasn't anymore interesting than killing the innocent out of boredom.

* * *

The monk sighed, somehow he'd agreed into bring the demon mistress's 'food' even though it was supposed to be another monk's job. He held a wild rabbit by the ears as he walked toward the trap door to her dungeon. Today wasn't his day he thought as he opened the door to the oubliette only for black shadows to snake toward him from the room. The monk's last scream was heard throughout the whole temple was the dark tentacles dragged him into the prison.

* * *

Daciana wiped the trail of blood from her mouth prestigiously with her black silk napkin as she sat on her bed in a regal manner. The cooling corpse of the foolish monk was unceremoniously left on the floor, his face still contorted in fear. He wasn't the usual monk who brought her the disgusting rabbit meals that were already cold from death. The usual monk quickly open the door, dropped her 'food' through the hole in the ground and quickly closed the door. This monk must not have been told of what she could do or else he'd of done the same. She took in a deep unneeded breathe. "This isn't very exciting, at least before this one got a decent meal once in a while…" she sighed in her melodious voice that sounded sickenly innocent, which was a trait she hated the most. How were you supposed to strike fear in the hearts of the innocent when you sounded like the light of all goodness?

She was just about to leave her prison, when she heard a resounding boom in the direction of the entrance of the temple. _What the bloody hell?_ she thought with surprise. Ah! An emotion. Maybe this place wasn't so boring…. A twisted smirked graced her lips and her bloodred eyes glowing as she walked towards the shadows on the wall, graciously stepping over the monk's corpse on her way. She walked forward, excitement was what she came here for and it seems like it found her. The shadows swallowed her completely like a thick velvet fluid.

Daciana looked at the Jashinist from her sitting position on a wall that miraculously hadn't been destroyed as he was finishing off his ritual with an interested glint in her otherwise emotionless eyes. These two Akatsuki members, what were they here for? She glanced at the second one wearing the traditional cloak with red clouds and a head mask. He had Chiriku hauled over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, much to Daciana's glee. She stopped her lungs from breathing the blood scented air lest she go into a fit of bloodlust, especially with the Jashinist's blood. His smelled like a vampire's sweet ambrosia, the reason she could no longer breathe without making him her next victim. She could handle the dead monks and the masked Akatsuki's blood repelled her. Mixing blood types was disgusting to vampires and that's what his was to her though she didn't know how. But this Jashinist, who couldn't be a year after twenty-two was the first person to ever have her undignified attention in over a century. She suddenly felt young again, this boy- no man- made her feel a thrill of excitement which she hadn't felt in a very long time. She would make him hers.

"Well, it looks like there's no jinchuuriki here…" That brought her attention from her silver haired beauty.

"As soon as my prayers are done, let's move on." It was her sweet Jashinist who replied.

"Sasori's spies had said they'd brought a demon to the temple.." the masked one said, persistently. So the Akatsuki spied knew about her eh?

"He needs to get better spies then, there's no one left alive in this temple." he said cockily which sent a shiver up Daciana's spine. She unconsciously licked her licks. _Don't be so sure love… _she thought. She tilted her head slightly and glanced at a monk from her peripheral vision who was hiding behind another wall that survived like the one she was on now.

"We need to exchange this corpse for its bounty" the second Akatsuki suddenly broke through her train of thought "money comes first." maskman, who she now decided to call him, said as he shifted Chiriku's corpse over his shoulder.

"Hey, you mind if I fucking get pissed off at you for once? Seriously" the Jashinist said as he started to sit up from his religion's insignia on the ground.

"…we're taking things in stride." maskman said as the hidden monk left to warn Konoha.

"Goddamn! You realize it's you, not me, who's fucking holding us up, right?!" the Jashinist practically yelled, pulling the stake from his chest, making Daciana gaze intently as the blood dripped down his sculptured chest, her mouth going dry.

"That's enough, shut up Hidan." maskman said in a demanding tone. So his name was Hidan was it? Hidan, somehow that name fit him so well.

"Fuck you!" Hidan yelled as he stood up.

Daciana smirked, he just had to have the last word didn't he? She knew she could make him into a submissive puppy if she wanted to like she'd done to other men in hopes to find some amusement and knew he wouldn't be any different. She wore a smug smirk as she jumped down from the wall she was on and faced them as they turned to her in defensive position.

"This one's sorry, has this one startled you?" she asked with a delicate hand on her chest, using her innocent voice at an advantage. She guessed it wasn't that bad when it got her out of trouble…

"Who are you?" maskman said, his strange green and black eyes narrowing at her suspiciously. She'd somehow slipped past all his senses.

Daciana used her excellent acting skills to good use as she acted surprised. "I thought you were looking for the demon they'd brought here." she said sweetly.

"And you know who that fuckin' demon is?" Hidan asked bluntly. Something about the way she looked at him, as if he was going to be her next meal, disturbed him.

"As a matter of fact" she said silkily, her tone changing to a soft velvet as she walked toward the Jashinist, making sure to sway her hips in a coy manner just how she seduced her meals. In a black leather corset with a miniskirt and boots that ended midthigh, her outfit was made to seduce her victims with her perfect figure. She love how his face shown shock as she walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck loosely as she pressed her body up against his. "I do." she whispered in his ear as she took in a deep breathe, causing him to tense even more than before. Her throat felt suddenly dry, and a soft moan escaped her lips, sending a shudder up Hidan's spine. She didn't even have to sink her fangs to taste him, but who could resist temptation?

She was about to bite into the tender skin on his neck when she was suddenly thrown back by something, sending her crashing into the wall she was on moments ago, successfully destroying it, causing a cloud of smoke to billow out as the wall crumbled down on her. A loud crack could be heard as the clouds of smoke started to dissipate to show the woman crushed by the rubble and her neck broken at an awkward angle, her face hidden by her long, velvet black hair.

* * *

Kakuzu turned to his partner in crime and glared daggers at Hidan as he withdrew his threads into his sleeves. "You shouldn't let your guard down you zealot." he said angrily, making his way out of what was left to the Hi No Tera in the direction of where he planned to cash in his latest bounty, leaving a gaping Jashinist behind him.

Hidan's eyes widened as he felt the soft, warm body of the woman who had her arms around him being thrown away from him. He resisted the urge to whimper as he saw her crash into the wall with a sickening crack. His body was telling him something he couldn't comprehend. She had felt so comforting beside him, like she was bent to be with him forever, he wanted to protect her for all eternity. Never in his immortal life had he ever thought that he'd ever find any happiness in anything but killing, but this woman had made him feel a warm butterfly feeling in his stomach, that he'd never felt before. As the dust cleared, he felt his heart skip a beat to see the woman dead, with her neck broken. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks as Kakuzu's voice suddenly broke through his daze. What had he been thinking just a second ago?! He just let a woman, who was probably a whore by the way she was dressed, just get near enough that she could have killed him if he wasn't immortal. What surprised him even more were the protective emotions he'd felt when she was still alive. What had she done to him?! He berated himself in confusion as he followed after Kakuzu, too lost in his thoughts to argue with Kakuzu about how what he was doing was blasphemous.

* * *

A twisted grin contorted her lips. A low chuckled came from the broken body underneath the stone of the broken wall. The blood that had had splayed when she got crushed started to slowly move back to her body, regenerating it. Her neck started to shift back to it's proper place and with a sickening pop it went back to it's normal position as her wounds healed, leaving no trace on her flawless pale skin. She stood up, knocking the ruble off of her, her chuckle turning to an evil laugh that would have even the bravest running away screaming at the sight of her insane laughter passing back rows of sharp teeth, two in the front longer than the rest. So he had gotten out of her mind induced daze had he? This was definitely amusing. No one had ever been able to break free and yet still have their proprieties in order especially when they'd thought she'd died. Most would commit suicide, but not this one… no definitely not this one… He was one who was used to death yet he stayed human. _I will have you Hidan, just you wait!_ she thought in bloodlust.

* * *

**Hi No Tera -**_The temple of fire_

**Fox: I don't feel like revising…**

**Neko: Well too bad! I personally got confused by this chapter before so Nyeh XP**

**Fox: (sigh) fine, what didn't you get?**

**Neko: what's an oubliette?**

**Fox: that's a dungeon that's made so that the only way in or out is through a trap door at the top **

**Neko: guess that makes a bit more sense…**


	2. Bat Shit Crazy

**Neko: Holy sh-crap! We totally forgot about this story! 8O (thanks Akatsuki-Hidan!)**

**Fox: :/ me too (-_- right, thanks)**

**Neko: =.= I bet you didn't you liar! You're just too lazy to work on it!!**

**Fox: yeah? so?**

**Neko: you're a douche… ;O**

**Fox: your face is a douche, _eeeeww!_**

**Neko: ;O is _not_!**

* * *

**Nobody Likes You When You're Dead**

_Chapter 2:_

_Bat Shit Crazy_

Daciana snickered as she watched Hidan's decapitated head start to yell, making the ninja stare in shock. She sat crouched on the roof of the bounty exchange point. Granted, she had been a little late to the show, but it was still funny to watch.

"If you wanted me to help you should have asked earlier." maskman said at he glared at his partner's decapitated head.

"You were fucking late Kakuzu! You fucking did it on fucking purpose!!" Hidan countered, making the Konoha shinobi stare openly in shock.

"_Aaaawww, poor baby_," Daciana cooed, loud enough for everyone to turn their attention to her.

"You!" Kakuzu snarled in shock like a cornered animal.

"_Yeees_?" Daciana said sweetly, only for it sound overly innocent to the point of it being creepy, as she cocked her head to side.

"What the _fuck_ is gong on here?!" Hidan yelled if frustration since he couldn't see Daciana since Kakuzu was in the way.

"Now _look_ at what you've _done_!" Daciana pouted as she jumped off the roof and landed in front of the entrance to the bounty exchange like a cat. "You've decapitated my new toy!" she said scowling cutely at the leaf ninja who only stared at her in surprise as she stood up slowly. "And you spilled his blood everywhere _too_!" she whined and pouted as she took a step toward the ninja, making them tense as a sadistic grin showing her rows of sharp teeth and protruding fangs overtook her features. "I demand _reimbursement_!" she shrieked as she suddenly burst into a flurry of small bats.

"What the fu…?" one of the Konoha ninja, one with a bandage on his nose, said before he and his teammate were assaulted by the bats, who swarmed all over their bodies until no part of them was visible anymore. The two of them let out bloodcurdling screams as the small bats began to drain their blood as the other two remaining Konoha ninja only watched in horror as both their bodies fell to the ground and the bats began to fly away to reveal two dried up corpses, their expressions ones of terror devoid of all blood but full of tiny pinpricks everywhere.

All the while, Kakuzu had taken advantage of the distraction and had reattached Hidan's head back on his body, though the Jashinist was quieter than he expected him to be. If he cared, he would have probably have noticed the way the zealot was staring at the bats before them with awe, but he didn't, his main concern was that woman. Just who the hell was she?

* * *

"Kotetsu! Izumo!" Shikamaru yelled in shock especially since he was crouched right between his two dead companions.

The small army of bats quickly formed the shape of a body before him which morphed into the shape of the woman from before. He froze in shock as he watched her wiped a small trail of blood from the corner of her mouth with her finger and licked the blood almost seductively, teasing him, making Shikamaru glare. He knew he was at his limit and couldn't fight her now. He'd used almost all his chakra in helping Hidan from killing Asuma. All he could do now was to stall.

"Mmm," she purred. "Blood type A and B. Delicious. This one wonders how you'll taste…" She took a slow step toward him, but suddenly stopped in midstep as Shikamaru thought fast and used his last remaining chakra to stop her by using his Kage Shibari no Jutsu. He grunted as he felt his chakra quickly draining away. He was going to pass out from chakra exhaustion if the reinforcements didn't get here soon.

The woman before him tsked mockingly. "Using a shadow to trap this one?" she chuckled lightly as she closed her eyes. "It's the most idiotic thing you could have done boy." she said as she smirked and finally opened her eyes to reveal vibrant red slit eyes which make his blood freeze. The last he saw was his shadow suddenly moved away from him and was absorbed by hers leaving him without one.

* * *

There was only one thought rushing through Asuma's mind constantly. Shit.

Shit, shit, shit, !!!

This was bad, he thought as he saw Shikamaru fall limply on the floor unconscious beside Kotetsu's and Izumo's corpses while the woman merely walked toward him, probably going to deliver the same fate the other chunnin dealt with.

Hidan had even been stitched back together by his partner when no one had been paying attention to them, and was now standing in the symbol he had made on the floor with his own blood. Not to mention that he'd stabbed his other leg as well to keep him from even being able to stand.

He clenched his eyes shut as he saw Hidan raise his pike and went to stab his heart. He open his eyes once more only to see the woman on top of his unconscious student with her mouth over his neck before he felt a sudden pain blossom in his chest.

* * *

Daciana felt the rush of pleasure fill her as she drank the boy's blood. Blood type AB wasn't exactly her favorite, but blood was blood right? She pinned her victim and moaned softly into the boy's neck as another spurge of blood flowed into her mouth. He was near death now, she could feel his heartbeat starting to finally slow down. He might have lost his shadow, but it seemed like he still had a will to survive as his heart had struggled against her draining. But he was starting to succumb to her power, it was inevitable.

That is until a swarm of ravens suddenly appeared, making her pull back in surprise, only for a giant fist to slam into her. She flew back, completely caught off guard as she was slammed into the bounty exchange's wall. She faintly wondered why she was always being slammed into walls all of a sudden as she crashed into the concrete leaving a large circular indent. At least it didn't fall on her this time… she thought as she slid down onto the floor against the wall.

She coughed up a bit of the blood she had been drinking before she sat up and started to vomit out the contents in her stomach, mainly the newly drunk blood. Once all the blood that hadn't been absorbed into her system yet was out, she glared at her attacker as she wiped the blood from her face with a black silk handkerchief that she seemingly took out of thin air. Once she was all clean, she let go of it and it dissolved into fine black dust and floated way into the wind as she stood up, making her bones creak noisily.

"You bastard…" she said as she spit out a bit of spare blood and took a step toward the large boy in red armor, her eyes flashing, only for her to lose her balance and fell back to the ground. She groaned in surprise as she saw her leg was broken at an awkward angle and wasn't even aligned anymore. How come she hadn't noticed that? She questioned herself mentally, but she shrugged it off and decided to fix her leg. She didn't want to redevelop wrong… Unfortunately for her, this distraction was enough for the reinforcements to take the her meal away. Oh, well, what was _one_ meal anyway? It's not like he was going to escape her grasp now, after all, he'd just been bitten by a _vampire_.

* * *

Kakuzu glared furiously as the Konoha ninja took his bounty away. He quickly jumped onto the roof they had retreated to. "I'm not giving you my bounty." he growled as he prepared to fight them. He suddenly stopped short as he suddenly heard a voice in his head.

_Leave whatever you're doing and get to the base._

"Can't you wait a little fucking longer? It's just getting good." Hidan complained, making some of the Konoha ninja give him strange looks.

_We're going to seal the Sanbi…hurry up. This comes first._

"That's why I'm saying just a fucking little bit longer!" Hidan argued as he clutched his head in exasperation.

"Hidan, stop." Kakuzu growled as he jumped up the roof to land next to his retarded partner. If only he wasn't immortal…

"Shit…" Hidan complained, but complied.

"We'll be back soon…Prepare yourself." Kakuzu warned the Konoha ninja gruffly before turning back to his partner. "Lets go Hidan."

"Cock sucking leader," Hidan complained. "I should fucking curse _him_ next time!"

Kakuzu gave one final glance at the woman from before as she moved her broken leg back into place with a sickening crunch which make him scrunch up his nose in disgust. He glanced at Hidan who was too busy yelling at the Konoha ninja who were panicking over their companions who were close to death. Good, it seemed like he hadn't even seen her during the whole fight. For once he was glad his partner was a unobservant moron. The last thing he needed was his partner dying because of some demented woman, that'd just be insulting to the many attempts he'd already made on the Jashinist's life. Kakuzu quickly did some hand seals, which Hidan was quick to follow, but not without giving a final insult.

"See you later dumb fucks."

* * *

"Ugh! Seriously?!!" Daciana howled angrily as she stood up even though her leg wasn't completely healed, bringing everyone's attention back to her. "Those fucking bastards ditched me! I have a good mind to fucking kill that mutli-pulsed maskfreak and drain poppet's blood until he's too weak to do anything for days!!" she screeched to herself as she stomped up to the spot where Hidan and Kakuzu had stood last. She crouched down on all fours and licked some of Hidan's blood, much to the disgust of some of the present ninja.

She groaned as the pleasure she felt every time she drank blood rippled through her body. "Blood type B." she murmured to herself happily before standing up again, pressing two of her fingers to her mouth she let out a high pitched whistle which even made the ninja wince as they watched her cautiously. To everyone's shock, except Daciana, a large howl erupted after her whistle that seemed to come from everywhere at once, soon followed by the repeated sound that was like pages being ripped out of a book by the handful. A tremor tore through the earth, making a miniature earthquake as the shadows of the surrounding area started to move toward Daciana, forming rippling shadows as if tore itself from the ground and created a large wolflike creature with red slit eyes all over its body.

A twisted smirk curved Daciana's lips as she pet the hound lovingly. "Search for my poppet, find him by scent, sound, and sight, but most of all blood." she ordered in a hushed voice. With a snarling bark, the hound jumped off tearing a way through the forest, scorching the trees and foliage in its path as if burned by hot flames. "Now," she said as she turned back to the ninja standing on the rooftop watching her with horror and most all fear. "I take it you're not going to hand this one a present to give this one's new pet _are you?_"

* * *

**A/N:**

**Neko: OMFG!! so I'm not the only one who thinks vampires don't sparkle! (kudos for Lori-Winchester! XD)**

**Fox: I think they can go out in the sun though :o**

**Neko: yeah, the whole not waking up till nighttime is cliché**

**Fox: ;O and how the hell does garlic do anything?!**

**Neko: 8O ….**

**Fox: what?**

**Neko: you getting less lazy on me?! 8O**

**Fox: no, laziness is still here, I just hate twilight (Bella is a shallow slut who only goes for the hottest guy that's there (I bet if a vampire hunter appeared and was 10x hotter than Edward she would've gone for him instead (yes I feel very strongly about this topic shut up)))**

**Neko: …. You're just asking for flames aren't you? -_-'**

**Fox: ;[ whatever…**


	3. Love At First Bite

**Nobody Likes You When You're Dead**

_Chapter 3:_

_Love At First Bite_

A lone figure sat on the alcove of what could only be described of what was once a room of such finery that were only accessible to kings. Now the tower was reduced to rubble, half the room no longer had a wall which exposed the room to the elements. The once beautiful tapestries which decorated the walls now blew in the wind in tatters. Near the center of the room a broken table lay overturned with the small remnants of a table cloth clinging stubbornly against the harsh winds which blew into the highest chamber. The room would have been covered with dust had it not been assaulted by the weather continuously as it showed in the dark corner where in gathered. The weather up in the Carpathian Mountains hardly changed, especially not here. The peasants in the village below knew not to come here, or death would be certain.

Somewhere in the stark winds a swarm of small bats flew toward the destroyed castle, which was wasted away to only the lone tower which barely stood on its foundations. As the bats came close to the open tower, they swarmed together still in the air, forming what looked like a dark fluid smoke that traveled the rest of the way into the chamber before the dark fluid poured itself onto the floor before the figure, creating a dark fog which dissipated like a black morning mist to reveal a woman, who's discernible features were hidden by shadows, kneeling before him. Her dark crimson hair fell forward into her face, making her visible red eyes seem to glow as she kneeled before her master.

"My Lord, I have found her." she spoke in a Turkish accent as she ducked her head in reverence to the figure before her.

"Where has the little shewolf gone to escape me this time?" a deep rumbling voice hummed in an accent which was obviously from Walachia.

"In a far away land to the east, across oceans." the woman said almost apologetically.

The man released a hissed at what she'd said. "My powers have not returned to what they once were before she'd drained me of my blood. I cannot cross running water, but no matter who interferes, I will retrieve her…no matter how much time or how many sacrifices it will take, I will definitely retrieve my queen, Daciana!"

* * *

Daciana chuckled darkly as she jumped up onto the exchange point's roof. "This one takes it you're not going to hand this one a present to give this one's new pet _are you?_" she said with a giddy smile that hid her teeth.

The ninja before her stayed rooted to their spots in fear as they desperately tried to think of a way out of this situation. Asuma was close to death, as was Shikamaru if his short labored breaths weren't enough of a hint. There was no way out of this without at least one of them dying, and that's not a possibility either Ino or Choji were going to consider.

Daciana saw it in their eyes as they got ready to attack. She sighed and flipped back her hair. "Very well, suit yourselves." she said as she lifted her hand up face down again, making Ino, Choji tense and the other two ninja that'd come with the back up to join them on the roof in defensive positions.

Daciana fluidly flicked her wrist down, making the currently conscious ninja gasp as Asuma's shadow grew threads that quickly wrapped around him like a mummy and pulled him down into the liquid shadow that started to move as if alive. The ninja backed away as the shadow started to expand, but once no on was in its vicinity, it moved toward Daciana and melted into her own shadow.

"W-what are you?" Ino asked shakily as she held Daciana's dying meal with his arm slung over her shoulder.

Daciana chuckled. "I'm a vampire sweetheart, it'd be best if you remember that, your friend is about to become one." she replied in amusement before she sunk into her own shadow which spread out in all directions and broke in all directions, leaving the ninja no trail to follow.

* * *

_**Six days later…**_

* * *

"Now the Nibi has been sealed too…there are only three left… dismissed." Leader's hologram said as another eye emerged on the Genryu Kyu Fujin, leaving only three eyes blank while the other six had eyes.

"Finally!" Hidan exclaimed impatiently.

"We're going to Konoha, Hidan." Kakazu reminded.

Kakuzu, Hidan, if you're going to Konoha, a word of advice un," Deidara spoke up. "There's a Jinchuuriki there called Naruto Uzumaki un. If you run into him, be careful yeah."

"Hey, hey, hey! Don't fucking put me in the same category as you Deidara-_chan_!" Hidan mocked. "A weakling that had to have Kakuzu reconnect your arm!"

"Better than a head…" Kakuzu snorted snidely.

"Hey! Fuck you Kakuzu! Whose side are you on?!" Hidan yelled while the other members kept quiet. Their antics weren't anything new.

"Shut up, we're going." Kakuzu growled in annoyance as he dispelled the astral projection justu.

Hidan grunted, but followed in suit.

* * *

Daciana lay on the ground before Hidan and Kakuzu lazily as she used her searched hound as if it was a giant pillow as it lay down sleeping beside her. She lazily help her hand up in the air and inspected her sharp claw-like nails which gleaming almost menacingly. She sighed as she put her hand down. It didn't take long for her to find Hidan and Kakuzu after her hound found them and she'd been waiting for them to come out of whatever jutsu they were in for the past six days. It wasn't a fun wait, especially when it had started to rain. She'd been tempted more than once to just sample Hidan's blood, but she wanted him to know she was alive before she finally took him.

She turned her eyes toward the two when she suddenly heard Kakuzu and Hidan start to move. A slow smile curved her lips as she kept her eyes on them though never turning her head to them, giving her an aloof look while not alerting them on her presence just yet.

"I had to stay still for six fucking days," Hidan complained as he cracked his neck. "I;m gonna go on a rampage."

"Shut up Hidan." Kakuzu growled as he spotted Daciana.

"Hello Kakuzu, Hidan." Daciana purred as she turned on her side toward them and began betting her hound almost lovingly, but it effectively gave her the look of an evil mastermind which mentally made her laugh as she played the part.

"What the fuck?!" Hidan exclaimed in shock while Kakuzu got ready to fight.

Daciana brought a hand to her dead heart feign hurt. "What? Aren't you glad to see this one?" she asked innocently. It was at that moment that her hound woke up and growled threateningly at the two of them, making them tense. "Hush, Hund." she cooed at the hound as she pet head, making it to calm down.

"Why are you following us?" Kakuzu growled, narrowing his eyes with suspicion, while Hidan gave him a surprised look. He obviously hadn't actually seen her during the commotion at the bounty exchange.

Daciana rolled her eyes. "This one isn't after you Kakuzu, this one is here for him." she said as she pointed at Hidan.

"What do you want with the zealot?" Kakuzu cut Hidan off before he could say something stupid.

"He belongs to me." Daciana said slowly, her voice becoming husky with an accent which she usually kept hidden as her eyes flashed dangerously.

"Like hell!" Hidan protested angrily, making the hound to growl again, shutting him up.

Daciana sighed, closing her eyes is what seemed like dismay, not bothering to calm down the hound. "And here I brought you a present too." she said sadly, making the two to give her confused looks. "Now what am I supposed to do with this?" Daciana asked as she snapped her fingers. Suddenly the shadows beneath both Kakuzu's and Hidan's feet brought up a black-threaded mummy which opened itself and the threads sunk back into the shadows to reveal Asuma.

Kakuzu's eyes widened. "Who are you?" he asked as he looked at Daciana with a new light.

"This one is Daciana, pleasure." she said as she stood up gracefully and did a mock lavish curtsy.

"You already know our names, but for proper introductions, I'm Kakuzu, and this idiot zealot is Hidan." Kakuzu said while he picked Asuma up.

Daciana smiled and walked up the Hidan with Hund followed at her heals. "It's a pleasure," Daciana breathed as she started to invade his personal space, making sure to make eye contact with him to activate another of her vampiric gifts to activate. The power of seduction wasn't merely limited to eye contact, but it only made it stronger to resist for the victim.

Hidan's jaw slackened slightly, signaling that it was working. "Uh, hi." he said awkwardly.

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow at his partner for his sudden quietness. If this woman could effectively keep Hidan quiet, then maybe it wasn't so bad if she stuck along…

"You know, where this one comes from, this one thinks this one just bought you." Daciana chuckled gleefully, making Hidan gape in shock.

"W-what?" he asked in surprise. Kakuzu nodded as Hidan turned to him while he added the sum of Chiriku's bounty added with Asuma's bounty on a calculator. "You can't be fucking serious!!"

"Hush, poppet." Daciana purred as she put a hand over his mouth as a small smile adorned her crimson lips. "It's a fair trade, one body for another." she said as she leaned closer to his neck.


	4. Bound To Death

**Nobody Likes You When You're Dead**

_Chapter 4:_

_Bound To Death _

Daciana once again found herself thrown back before she could sink her teeth in fangs into the appetizing immortal before her. She let out an exasperated huff as she fell on her bottom. She pouted and crossed her arms. "So close…" she mumbled as she shot Hidan an annoyed look.

He'd pushed her away this time. His partner was busy staring at his calculator with a greedy smile and not paying attention to them. Hidan was glaring at her. Daciana had never had anyone reject her before. And here this immortal _human_ had foiled her seduction spells not once, but twice! Not only had he rejected her, but he'd flung her away from him as if he found her disgusting. She'd never been treated this way by any man in her life! Living and dead! This new feeling confused her, but most of all made her want Hidan all that much more. She silently swore she'd make him hers if it was the last thing she did.

"I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but leave me the hell alone! I don't belong to fucking anyone beside myself and Jashin-sama!" he growled.

Daciana felt a pleasurable shiver down her spine and realized she actually _liked_ his rude obscenity. During her whole existence everyone had treated her like a princess because of her looks and how rich and influential her family had been overseas, but someone like Hidan was something new entirely. When she'd been alive, her short life had been being locked up in her tower while being taught by the most cultured and _gentlemanly_ of tutors. They'd all been easy for her to seduce, like starved swine going after the _most prized _truffle. She'd made them her playthings and slaves with mere words and looks as a living girl with a few caresses and teasing touches here and there. It's wasn't any wonder that once she was turned into a vampire that she'd become the master of vampire seduction, earning the name of Velvet Succubus from her peer vampires. _No one _could escape her seduction spells, not trannies, not whores, not paupers, or lords. She'd ruined and destroyed many lives when she's been back in her homeland. But eventually she'd gotten bored. Her playthings and pets didn't amuse her anymore just like everything else that went on with the affairs of her brethren. She'd probably made a mistake in seducing one of the strongest vampire lords since he hadn't wanted to let her go when she'd gotten bored of him, but what did she care? She just drained him, took most of his vampiric gifts from him in doing so, and left to travel east. She hadn't cared if he'd said he loved her. Her heart was made of stone and she only wanted a pet to entertain her. For years she'd been searching for someone worthy of being her new toy, slaughtering humans in her boredom. Killing, feeding, casting seduction spells on her victims until they worshiped the very ground she walked on and offered and bared their necks willingly to her. None had survived. None except this immortal. He'd even managed to break out of her spell! She knew from past experiments she'd used on other humans that if anyone still in her spell thought she was dead or that she'd abandoned them, they usually killed themselves. Of course when she'd found out this discovery she's been delighted and did it more often for the fun of it and just because she could. No one could escape her grasp. This didn't change even if this human could escape a simple seduction spell. This only made things more interesting…

Daciana stood up and smiled coyly. "So _rough_…" she purred, happily making note of Hidan's blush. "But I've told you, a body for a body. You're _mine_ now." She gave him an evil smile, baring her sharp rows of teeth and even sharper fangs. "But don't worry, I'm sure you won't be complaining soon…" she cooed as she took a step forward.

"Fuck you!" Hidan yelled back, brandishing his scythe at her threateningly. "I'm not your fucking pet, seriously!"

Daciana pouted. "But poppet, your knocking it before you try it…" she said, playing up her naturally innocent sounding voice to cute, going at it on a different approach as she coquettishly put a hand on his scythe and pushing it away. It wouldn't do her any lasting harm, but it would still be annoying for her to have to heal or having a hole in her cute outfit.

"We're leaving." Kakuzu interrupted gruffly, Asuma slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, much like how he'd carried Chiriku.

"Finally! Let's leave this fucking crazy bitch, seriously!" Hidan sighed in relief, only to stop midstep as he felt something tighten around his neck. "What the hell?"

Daciana yanked on the black studded leash she held which lead to the black leather spiked collar around Hidan's neck that had seemingly come out of nowhere. "Now where do you think you're going? You didn't think you could just leave your master now did you? But I guess you must be knew to this so I'll just have to teach you my new pet." Daciana said in a venomously sweet voice that only women could perform.

Kakuzu stared at the foreign woman indifferently, wondering if she'd slow them down. The Konoha shinobi would definitely be coming after them, but then he remembered how she'd defeated those ninja before with that strange jutsu which turned her into bats. She'd actually be useful, and she didn't seem to mind killing others just to get what she wants. If the Konoha shinobi came after them then she'd join them considering how they would be coming to kill him and Hidan, but more importantly for her, Hidan. She'd laid her claim on him, no matter how strange it was to Kakuzu, and she obviously didn't seem like the type to like it if someone harmed something she considered hers (no matter how much Hidan denied it).

"Let's go." he muttered before turning his back to the strange sight of the woman Daciana holding the leash to Hidan's collar, ignoring his partner's cussing as he struggled to get the leash off.

"Yes poppet, let's go." Daciana said chirped (practically skipping) as she followed behind Kakuzu, pulling on his leash which she'd summoned with her dark gifts, forcing him along.

"What the fuck? Let me the fuck go you bitch!" Hidan protested, stumbling along while trying to get the collar off, but couldn't find an opening to the spiked collar which seemed like a whole ink of leather and spikes. "Fuck!"

* * *

Ino paced back and forth in the waiting room while Chouji glumly sat on one of the chairs, not even having his usual appetite to eat now as he worried for their friend Shikamaru. It'd been six days and the medics were all working on stabilizing Shikamaru who's cells were decomposing at an alarming rate. He should have been dead by now, but the medic's constant feed of chakra had kept Shikamaru on the brink of death so far. It's just- they unfortunately hadn't made any progress past that and the medics were starting to show signs of fatigue. Tsunade had even researched for days now to find a cure, but couldn't find one. No one could heal the wounds on his neck, and the blood transfusions were impossible since none of their needles could pierce his skin to administer the blood. Shikamaru's body rejected anything they gave it to try to help him. But the worst thing is, nobody could figure out what was causing Shikamaru's body to die in a rapid pace, too fast to even seem possible!

Ino hadn't slept well. Too worried for her teammate. First Asuma, and now Shikamaru? She couldn't bear the thought that her team was falling apart. She knew she was being selfish. Chouji must have it worse than her. He was Shikamaru's best friend after all. She noticed how Chouji had barely even eaten, his face becoming taunt with worry, dark rings adorning his eyes which must have mirrored Ino's.

A medic nervously came into the waiting room, immediately becoming the victim to Ino's verbal barrage. "What happened? Is he alright? _Tell me_!" Ino yelled frantically as she shook the scared medic desperately by his shoulders.

"Ino, he'd not going to help if you don't let him speak." Chouji spoke up as he stepped up beside her and put a calming hand on her shoulder even though it was obvious he wanted the medic to answer just as much- if not more- as she did.

"Oh," Ino mumbled, the closest thing she'd come to an apology, as she let the nondescript medic go.

He pushed up his square glasses that had miraculously stayed on his face and turned to the two info-starved chunnin. He gulped and turned away, not wanting to look at them as he delivered the horrible news. "I'm sorry… there was nothing we could do…"

"No…" Ino heard herself breath out as the medic offered his condolences and that they'd done all they could. She suddenly felt numb as it felt like she was staring at everything through someone else's eyes. Like she was using her clan's techniques. But she painfully knew she hadn't taken over anyone else's body. This medic wasn't talking to another person about their lost friend. This was _her_, this was _her_ _friend_, and she was _definitely_ hearing this no matter how she wanted to deny what the medic was saying. "No, no, _no_, this _can't_ be true!" Ino sobbed suddenly as she turned and cried into Chouji's shoulder. Chouji numbly put his arms around her comfortingly as he stared off into space with a distant expression on his face.

Ino cried into Chouji's arms, taking comfort in the fact that the larger boy was still here alive and warm. If she lost Chouji too, Ino would probably gone insane and commit sepukku. But not without bringing the ones who'd done this down with her. She'd avenge Asuma-sensei's and Shikamaru's death! she silently swore that to herself, or she would die trying.

* * *

Tsunade felt a bead of sweat trailing down from her forehead to her clenched jaw. What the medic had told the remaining members of Team 10 _was_ true, Shikamaru was in fact dead. But something was happening to his body. Something not even Tsunade could explain. The remaining medics who still had some chakra remaining had strapped Shikamaru down onto the operating table to keep his convulsing body to limited movement so he wouldn't hurt himself. Tsunade didn't know how that was much help since Shikamaru's heart had stopped about an hour ago, so technically he should be dead and experiencing the beginning of rigor mortis by now.

But it wasn't Shikamaru's inhuman convulsions that twisted his spine in impossible angles that disturbed Tsunade the most. It was the screams coming from the young teenager's mouth. It was a good thing this room was soundproof or else the whole hospital would be spooked by his screams. He was yelling out something that Tsunade couldn't distinguish, but whatever it was, it made her blood run cold. She was never a superstitious person, but there were some exceptions like her grandfather's necklace. Whatever he was screaming to high heaven sent shivers down her spine. She didn't understand it, but her instincts- something deep engraved within her very DNA shuddered at the feeling of pure _evil_.

She turned to a cowering medic besides her. "Write down whatever he's saying, I want to know what the hell is happening here!" she demanded at the young chunnin medic in what she hoped was a strong voice. It was her job as a leader to set an example in the most precarious situations or else nothing would ever get done. The girl turned to her with large fearful eyes, but seeing Tsunade was already walking toward the convulsing ninja, she just gulped and scurried off to find a pen and paper.

Shikamaru screamed, his voice reaching decibels that would rupture any human's vocal cords. Some of the medics had even started to cry, clutching their ears in a desperate attempt to end the torture. If Tsunade had been any other person, she would have probably given in to her primal instincts to cower in fear, suffering the mental breakdowns that many of the medics were inexplicably going through. But Tsunade's mind was running a mile a minute as she tried to ignore the grotesque scene yet analyze it at the same time. What was happening to him? How was it even possible? What was he saying that was making her want to run and never turn back? And more importantly, who had done this to him?

The reports from his teammates said that they'd seen, a strange foreign looking woman had bitten his neck. Tsunade contemplated if this was some form of curse seal similar to Orochimaru, but she quickly started to doubt that. Orochimaru was sick, but he wasn't _this_ sick- well, maybe he was, but she doubt he'd come up with a way to keep a corpse alive like this because reports said he was still preparing to take Sasuke as his host. She frowned. But then again Orochimaru _could_ be planning to take over Sasuke Uchiha and then make the change permanent and this was only one of his 'attempt at immortality' failures. But the real question here is how did that woman get it then? And what was her relationship with Akatsuki? Was she a new member since Sakura and Chiyo killed Sasori? Tsunade rubbed her temples in frustration. But if she didn't get the jutsu she used on Shikamaru from Orochimaru, then she must have either made it or learned it from somewhere else. Either way this woman couldn't be taken lightly. Kotetsu and Izumo were brought back as dried husks unfortunately backup hadn't gotten there in time to know how'd they'd gotten that way. There was only a slight possibility that their deaths were caused by one of those Akatsuki members that were there, but the fact that their blood was drained down to the very last drop pointed to the female. Chouji's report _had_ pointed out she'd vomited too much blood when he'd knocked her off of Shikamaru. In fact samples of that blood was currently being examined right now in a secret location within the village. Also, Shimakaru was missing a lot of blood as well when he'd been brought back to the village, too much even for the only wound he had.

Tsunade was brought out of her thoughts as a sudden scream that didn't sound like Shikamaru, which she just realized had stopped, yelled at the top of their lungs. Her eyes widened as she turned her attention back to Shikamaru who'd broken out of the bindings that were holding him down.

"How?" she whispered hoarsely as Shikamaru pounced on the closest unfortunate medic, knocking her to the ground, and bit her throat. All the medics in the room froze in shock as everything went in slow motion while someone they thought was dead clamped their jaw on the poor woman's neck hard enough to draw blood. The woman screamed desperately as she struggled to get free as time seemingly went back to normal.

Tsunade wasn't a Legendary Sannin for nothing and immediately sprung into action. Quickly powering up chakra to her fist she punched Shikamaru's corpse off the woman, sending him flying into some of the monitoring equipment in the room. The poor medic was immediately surrounded by some of her peers as their heal the bit on her neck, which heal slowly as if it resisted their healing chakra much like how Shikamaru's wound refused to heal. Tsunade's eyes widened in realization. The bite! The woman must had infected Shikamaru with some type of venom that reanimated the corpse of the victim to bite and infect others!

* * *

**(Neko: haha _no_ that's a zombie! XD Fox: gawd way to ruin the dramatic mood -_-')**

* * *

"Ok, I know I'm not the genius Shikamaru was," Ino swallowed the lump that formed in her throat whenever she thought of her dead teammate before continuing. "But I've got a plan that might work on those Akatsuki." she said in a hushed voice as she looked out at the alley entrance to make sure no one else was listening.

Chouji gave Ino a glum look. "Ino, the two of us will never be able to take those three and you know it. We might have had a chance if Shikamaru…" his voice faded as he looked down at the floor.

"How can you just give up like that Chouji?" Ino suddenly snapped as she pushed Chouji away from her, which coincidentally made him slam his back into the wall of the narrow alleyway, but Chouji just kept quiet with his eyes steadily on the ground. "They killed Asuma-sensei and Shikamaru!" she cried indignantly as tears started to form in her eyes. "Are you really just going to stay here and be a _coward_ while those murders just go off and do as they please?"

"No, I'm not Ino." Chouji interrupted as he looked up with an all seriousness that made the breath catch in Ino's throat. "But I'm also not going to let my only remaining teammates go get herself killed just because she was too stupid to plan ahead."

Ino looked down and let the tears flow from her eyes. "I know. You're right." she quietly sobbed. "It's just- it's just that I can't live with myself knowing that I couldn't do anything to help Asuma-sensei and Shikamaru." she stubbornly wiped away some of the tears on her face which only seemed to encourage more tears to take their place.

Chouji, without thinking, wrapped his arms around Ino and brought her into a comforting hug. "It's not your fault Ino, and if it is, it's also mine. You said so yourself, Asuma-sensei was hit in four vitals, not even Tsunade would have been able to save him. And Shikamaru…" Chouji choked on his own words as tears began to sting at his eyes.

"There was nothing we could do then, but that doesn't mean we can't now." Ino began sobbing into Chouji's shoulder and hugged him back. "What we need is a good enough plan to make Asuma-sensei and Shikamaru proud." she said with so much conviction that Chouji could only nod his agreement while his thoughts were on the loss of his sensei and best friend.

* * *

**Neko: I wonder if anyone's noticed how Daciana was a weird speech problem with saying 'I' and 'this one'? :D**

**Fox: I seriously doubt anyone has a big enough eye for detail to notice -_-'**

**Neko: meh ;O I still wanna what the fan's think it's about! So write it as a review! It's really not that hard! (you'll earn a kudo! XD)**

**Fox: -_-' just do it, she'll never leave me alone**

**Neko: :D I'll pretend that's not there! Yosh! Fear the power of ignorance!**

**Fox: :/ sadly enough ignorance is pretty powerful… meh whatever**

**Neko: XO quick review! before you get distracted!**


End file.
